Reviews

It’s You Afterwards – A Prose by Sophia Kaankuka | Book Review

Hey guys! Thanks for clicking this blog, I was personally asked by a fellow author on Instagram to review their self-help novel. This is an honest opinion- I did not get paid to do this. Nor did I actually pay for this novel.
It was given to me for free. And as such, I have included the link to not only their Instagram but the link to purchase their novel.

I am in no ways a professional or have credibility behind what I say or judge; so take it with a grain of salt!

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Blurb:

The Reality on ground is the opportunity to capitalizing very vastly on what is Functional and Standard for Your Well being- The fact that you have to keep your well being is an upkeep responsibility you have to take up for yourself, The Maps reside in the palms of your hands to making them efficient locations. Taking the keys is a concept for all round inclusive and exclusive latitude.
Pencils do write just as Pens do that is why the part you ought to play in your livelihood is a never ending speech, Not only as a Human Being but as a Living Being that inclines to the possibilities that you can achieve and accomplish by attending every cost viable, Never disfigure your livelihood by what you listen to, Configure it with a positive perception that rends every subtitle it’s title in your life.

[This is a cut and paste of the original blurb that can be found in the link below]

Initial Reaction:

This book is very small, holding only 3 pages PDF, 4 in book form. When I first viewed this novel, all I could see was the massive amount of grammatical errors. From what I can see overall, I don’t see any obvious spelling mistakes. But the sentence and grammar errors are outstanding.

It is very difficult to read past; it took me more than a few tries to attempt to get through. Long sentences, with moderately sized paragraphs. Averaging of two to three sentences per paragraph.

Favourite Quote/Sentence:

“The placement of your fences lie within you only, you’re not just an average constituent, but a veritable primitive building block”

“The darkness and vagueness teaches you to obtain the knowledge and understanding that the dusk comes before the dawn, and when the dawn comes, it is in abundance and it is revamp.”

Final Thoughts:

The author has made a brilliant stride in creating a self-help novel. Not only this, but they had the bravery of reaching out and contacting several authors to review their novel. Personally, that takes a lot of bravery to put your pride on your sleeve.
I initially wasn’t going to accept this novel to review as it usually isn’t something I prefer to read, but, they seemed earnest in wanting it to be reviewed. With that, I’d like to give my final thoughts.

This novel has multiple strides it needs to take in order for this novel to be the best it can be. But the core content is really good and you can tell the author has quite a few thoughts to express.
With the amount of content and expression the author is trying to convey, it was condensed very well.

Ratings:

Grammatical: 1.5/5
Sentence Structure: 2.5/5
Content: 4.5/5
Readability: 1/5

Improvements/Tips:

A lot of improvements need to be made. Not on the content of this self-help novel, but for editing and proofreading. I’m not saying I’m a saint, cause I do make my fair share of errors but when you offer up your work to be critiqued and read, you have to put the extra mile in. However, in saying that, I would like to offer a few guidance tips if the author ever does want to improve the novel, or write another.

Tips:

1. Word Length

The average length of a sentence is 15-20 words, however, for a self-help novel, I’d suggest just a little over. For most of your sentences you do have the average amount of words, but a lot of them is significantly over. As this is a Prose, it would be significantly longer than the average sentence, however, even in the natural every-day language, we take pauses and breaks between sentences.

2. Capital Letters

Do not include capital letters where it does not belong. For example, capital letters can be applied when you begin a sentence, in titles and headers, for pronouns (Individual person (e.g Holly); Place (e.g London); or organisation (e.g Telstra; Mcdonalds). Do not include capital letters in the middle of the sentence or after commas. If you’d like to highlight or emphasis what you are wanting to say, use italics or bold instead.

3. Clauses

A simple sentence should only include one clause (Subject + Verb). If you are wanting to have a compound sentence only include two-four clauses. However, if you are wanting a complex sentence, only include one independent clause and one dependent clause.

Now, in Prose writing, you would have a loose sentence where the main clause is followed by a coordinate or subordinate clause, however, you are not following this structure (The word structure is loosely used because Pose does not follow a unified format), as you have several independent clauses in one sentence. Which, contrary to popular belief about Pose writing, is not how a normal conversation flows. This, of course, is my personal belief, and from what I have witnessed.

4. Proofreading

Make sure you proofread! (On a funny note, I got my boyfriend to proofread this and the first word of this sentence I wrote ‘Max’ instead of ‘Make’. Ironic, aye?) There are several softwares downloadables, apps and sites that can assist with this if that is not your forte. Personally I like to use Grammarly, as I have a tendency to duplicate words, and I skim over what I read.

5. Run-on sentences.

A helpful tip I learned when I first started writing novels and essays was to read aloud what I wrote. This is because it is easier to see the flesh reading ease, as well as any errors you make.

As usual, in Prose writing, you do encounter run-on sentences. But when this is combined with several independent clauses in a singular sentence, it becomes quite a bothersome to read. And, as this is a self-help novel, you are mutely required to have it be readable for viewers.

What you used: Word Length

“It’s you, you’re responsible, you’re amendable, you’re accountable and above all the legislature of your every law and precept, Although it may seem that you’re in a world full of all other people and human beings, but the reality on ground is that, you’re every large content, motif, theme concept of your livelihood, You’re the backbone of your support.

This is one full sentence, a maximum sentence, like the I previously suggested, should only have a maximum of 20-30 words. You have 58 words in one sentence.
In Prose writing, you do encounter longer sentences as a normal human would speak, but when it becomes so long you are taking more than five breaths (pauses) in a singular sentence, then it significantly reduces the smooth reading ease.

How to fix: Word Length

It’s you- you’re responsible, you’re amendable, you’re accountable and above all the legislature of your every law and precept. Although it may seem that you’re in a world full of all other people and human beings, but the reality on ground is that, you’re every large content, motif, theme concept of your livelihood. You’re the backbone of your support.

Now, as you can probably see, one of the sentences exceeds 30 words but that cannot be fixed. Writing is flexible- especially in Prose writing- but it should still be readable. Especially if you are trying to communicate such a serious topic as this author is attempting to do.

What you used: Capital Letters

“Your choices and decision making are substitutes for your growth and development, Never just glance at but look very intently on how the ‘well’ looks within”

As you can see, in the middle of the sentence- after the comma- you have included a capital letter: “Never”.
This is not necessary in the slightest, as it is neither a name, place or organisation.

How to fix: Capital Letters

Your choices and decision making are substitutes for your growth and development, never just glance at but look very intently on how the ‘well’ looks within.

As you can see, I have removed the random capital letter. In fact, instead of the comma, you could add a full stop or semicolon ( ; ).

What you used: Clauses

You’re ascribed a ‘pane’ of your own to determine what type of gains satisfy you, The philosophy of life is rather to take the ‘rake’ but it’s ‘tail’- You’re a victim of your own meetings, The most relevant for your own sustainability, When you plan your plank and realize that it doesn’t generate into just a ‘log’ but one which you design it to be.

Now, this has several- several clauses. More than it should. I – think you’re aiming for a compound sentence- or loose sentence. However, this has more than four clauses from what I can tell, and it should only have a maximum of three-four.
However, for this sentence/paragraph I feel it would have an easier read if it had a significantly less amount of clauses, as I personally struggled to follow along with what the author was trying to express.

How to fix: Clauses

You’re ascribed a ‘pane’ of your own to determine what type of gains satisfy you. The philosophy of life is rather to take the ‘rake’ but its ‘tail’. You’re a victim of your own meetings, the most relevant for your own sustainability. When you plan your plank and realize that is doesn’t generate into just a ‘log’ but one which you design it to be.

This has an easier smooth reading, sentence length as well as a proper sentence structure. However, this is how I personally read in my head, or read aloud. This could be subjective, but it is still loosely based.

What you used: Proofread

I do not need to include an example of proofreading, as these series of tips/notes should be example enough.

How to fix: Proofread

Read aloud your work! This might take a while so do it in sections, but it is highly advised you do so.
If you do not want to proofread or edit your own work, you can hire someone to do so for cheap, or ask a family member to go over it.
Otherwise, carefully write your work slowly, making sure you go over every sentence before you continue to the next one. This is not preferable, however, as this stops the flow of writing and can give you writer’s block.

What you used: Run-on sentences

The placement of your fences lie within you only, you’re not just an average constituent, but a veritable primitive building block- The darkness and a vagueness teaches you to obtain the knowledge and understanding that the dusk comes before the dawn, And when the dawn comes, It is in abundance and it is revamp.

This is a major run-on sentence. Like the aforementioned sentence length, I believe this is too long. Taking away from the point you are trying to make and I believe it would have a stronger point if you kept it short and simple. Now, don’t get me wrong, this is not an essay. This isn’t being critically evaluated or marked, but as a reader, I struggle to get through this sentence without skimming. As this is a prose writing it will encounter a significantly higher amount of run-on sentences as we do in our every-day lives. However, when the run-on sentence becomes too additive, then it turns from Prose to problematic for the viewer to read.

How to fix: Run-on sentences

The placement of your fences lie within you only. You’re not just an average constituent, but a veritable primitive building block. The darkness and vagueness teaches you to obtain the knowledge and understanding that the dusk comes before the dawn, and when dawn comes, it is abundance and it is revamped.

This, like the clauses, keeps the sentences short and concise, leaving only the necessary information enclosed in the sentence. If it helps to figure out where the sentence should end, read aloud the sentence and add full stops, commas or semi-colons where you pause or take a breath. This is especially important for Prose writing as you want it to sound as natural as it can be.
This does not include hyphens (hyphens are usually used when you are wanting to add in additional- but not necessary- information. Other uses of it can be used but that would take a while to write out).

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Now, thank you all for reading. I was trying not to be too critical as the author has some strong words to express. Quite a voice they have expressed in such beautiful words that I couldn’t write myself.

I believe with a bit of editing, this author could influence and assist with quite a few people, as they articulate their words in such a manner, expressing thoughts we all have but cannot word ourselves.
This is how guidance is best expressed, in my opinion, with common words formated in a brilliant and influential way.
If you have similar or contrasting thoughts on my review or further ideas you’d like to express, go ahead and go down below and message me.
Or feel free to go to my Instragram at @in_another_realm

If you’d like to purchase this self-help novel for yourself, go ahead and check it out on their Instagram @authorkhadelskbooks or at www.amazon.com/dp/B07SJNV88J

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